all hallow's eve

yeah! its halloween! the second best party in the year!

I'll get dressed now (what shall I wear?), eat sth (I just got up ^.^) and then go to work. after that, i'll have a meeting with Rena and then we'll go to the dancing school for a party. At night, we'll sit down at fiddler's Green and the go to her place to watch movies all night long.

IT's the fucking best day in the year! (And I slept half of it...)

Unfortunately, may granny is really really not doing good. It's just some more days, then it's all over. If that is the case today, I must not go to the party...
I may sound rude, but I will go, no matter what happens.

If I die one day, I want all my friends to party their ass off and have some drinks for me, too. But no beer, just wine.

sickness

I'm ill. its my own fault...

dim scene

sometimes I wonder if I just liek to be depressive...or if this world really makes me depressive.

america's next topmodel 3

you know, I really dont like these stupid blonde bitchy american's who spend their time with fighting about shoes.
but Kim.....Kim is hot!

once again

once again i have to say that my parents dont accept me.

The dont accept my clothes, my music, my opinion, my character, my friends, my hobbies, my school work, my fantasy, my hopes, my dreams, and it wouldnt surprise me if they told me they dont accept my sexuality.

my mother says I hurt her soul with my being.

my father hits the table and says "get out."

I have no one to trust here.

They all believe I wanna prove something to others with my being.
It doesnt come to their mind that I dont wanna prove something but that I wanna be something.
For me.

I have nothing to do here anymore.

king's cross

after a long time I'm playing sims 3 again. its fun~
my english presentation today was a desaster, just ebcause of my team partner...she was just too stupid to do the whole thing as it was planned. whatever, I'll have a good mark anyways.

listening to Bugaboo. its such a eroctic song~

and I finally have a cross earring! it may not be perfect, but it looks stunning. not that I would give a fuck about church or religion...

gone

I miss you babe.
I miss you so much.....

I gotta work a lot.
I dont want to...

the last night

now and forever, you will be in my arms.

connections

hopefully my baby's webcam will work with skype...

we shall never surrender

I made a drawing for my baby. she looked so cute while sitting at my computer that I absolutely had to draw her.

Yesterday we went out with some friends and celebrated our 5th anniversary. months, of course.
And gosh people we were drunk as hell. but it was fun at the Irish pub, the music was great and some guy gave us whiskey and kept our company for a while until we had to go.
on our way home with Rena, we sung a stupid song from dmc3. I'm kinda embarrassed now...
anyways. it was a great night ;)
Darling is getting annoyed so I'll stop here.

nervous

1 hor left until ym baby arrives and I'm getting nervous. work is done so I'll play some games to calm me down, then rush to the senter to get a birthday present for my brother's girlfriend and THEN go home and get ready to jump over to the station and pick up my darling. woah.

3 hours left

waitin for my darling to arrive

just fuck him

I hate my father so much.

whatever I say, he says something against it.

If I say, "my teacher told us this and this" he says "that cant be true, i know sth else"

If i say "my computer works that way" he says " no it doesnt, no your computer works like mine, I know it better"

If I say "this or this is more expensive now so I cant buy it anymore" he says"your wrong, I've seen it cheaper today"

he just doesnt believe me. he belives nothing I say. whatever I tell him he didnt know before, he doubts it.

he never belives me.

he never belives in what i say and what i know.

he doesnt belive that i am smart enough to know facts he doesnt know.

he doubts my reliability.

he doubts everything i am.

he never, never believes me.

just fuck you, father. just fuck you.

just fuck it

okay, my mobile is finally broken. crap. it doesnt switch on anymore, i cant connect it to teh computer, i cant do nothing. fuck it. I ahve no money for a new one.

btw...there are all my phone numbers, songs and 700 PICTURES ON IT!! FUCK IT MAN!!

girl's afternoon

Aiji came here! yay!!
We made her hair blond and now I'll color the rest lack and cut it. Hopefully I can do it...
wish me luck!!

news

Blumio - check him out!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-YaEEaGI80

he's so awsome, even if its not my style of music! vote for him on mtv!

warumono

I finally got my cherry core pillow!!

go to bed now. wait. gotta eat sth.

I'm Dir en Greyalized so i made a pic.

ouch

I'm in pain >.<
my belly hurts...again...

news2

Girugämesh's new single 'Crying rain' is out! You can watch it on youtube, without PV unfortunately.
Beautiful ballade.

news

D'espairsRay will have a new DVD from their Shibuya-AX live (10th anniversary!). The super special extra:
Brilliant performed with a part change from all members! I'll not tell you who palys what, but I'll tell you that Tsukasa's not drumming...
Also check out their brand new song GOING ON!! written by Tsukasa. It's all english, Hizumi is rapping most of the time, but I think it's well done. What I liek most is the rousing beat- its fuckin awesome!!

Dir en Grey will have new Singles too, Versailles will keep on playing lives even without their bassist Jasmine You who passed away in august and Matenrou Opera have released their first album. That's all i know right now.^^

mara's bday party

good mornin. I've slept like a lil baby.
my toes hurt...I need water. I've slept in all my clothes...

Culcha Candela is awsome.

busy

I'm doing my maths homework! d^^b

school's out

my maths teacher is stupid and unexperienced. another teacher made me understand something in like 2 minutes. the other teacher had three days and nobody understood it.

Mommy said two things today.

"We have to be ready. It can happen very fast right now."

"For her best, I want that day to be near."

well

Mo dad, my older broher and I visited grandma today. she's really weak.
My brother and both cried, but our dad was really strong. he's still with her now, but we others went home. when we got out of the hospital, we both lit a cigarette. I almost smiled coz we had they same thought at that moment. we managed to talk without getting to emotional.
my brother said " well, I guess she'll stay a week and then be home again. you know her, it was always like that."
I did not find anything to answer.

chizuru

my granny is in hospital. her kidneys dont work they way they should.
I'll think about her now.

naa

I went home earlier from school coz i felt really really sick.
I'm not doing good these days....