relief~
I dreamed of ZERO being a secretary at my parent's enterprise, smiling at me shyly....hee nice dream!
Dienstag, 31. August 2010
ohayooou~
Half an hour after waking up I suddelny realized that I lost my mouthpiece while sleeping. It couldn't be seen anywhere on my bed, so I got scared I might have swallowed it...but it just lay underneath my blanket.
relief~
I dreamed of ZERO being a secretary at my parent's enterprise, smiling at me shyly....hee nice dream!
relief~
I dreamed of ZERO being a secretary at my parent's enterprise, smiling at me shyly....hee nice dream!
Sonntag, 29. August 2010
The moments I have been waiting for are over now. My room is full of silence and emptiness.
I hoped you would leave something, some notes like the times before...and then I found the post-its on my TV screen.
thank you for those...it was very cute...
I don't wanna forget the feelings you created. I can still remember how you stood behind me while I was at the computer...it's like I'd expect you to be there if I turned around.
For my own good I won't.
"yami no saki ni wa iro"
I hoped you would leave something, some notes like the times before...and then I found the post-its on my TV screen.
thank you for those...it was very cute...
I don't wanna forget the feelings you created. I can still remember how you stood behind me while I was at the computer...it's like I'd expect you to be there if I turned around.
For my own good I won't.
"yami no saki ni wa iro"
Dienstag, 24. August 2010
Montag, 23. August 2010
Sonntag, 22. August 2010
winner
yep! I just won the battleground 51+ all on my own.
No Rogs, no Elerds either, because they simply FORGOT that it was time! GHow can that happen?
I should have taken a screenshot of how I ran around over the whole area collecting cores with nobody trying to stop me...I was scared as hell that some Rog might show up out of sudden, but nothing happened.
It as a very calm session at the battleground!
When I old them later I had won, they were all like "Oh shit! Was it really time? Sorry, I forgot it...."
That's how to do it!
No Rogs, no Elerds either, because they simply FORGOT that it was time! GHow can that happen?
I should have taken a screenshot of how I ran around over the whole area collecting cores with nobody trying to stop me...I was scared as hell that some Rog might show up out of sudden, but nothing happened.
It as a very calm session at the battleground!
When I old them later I had won, they were all like "Oh shit! Was it really time? Sorry, I forgot it...."
That's how to do it!
kitten
this is it, the last 24 hours.
as we can see, even three months pass one day.
I gotta a lot to do until tomorrow...but first lunch!
as we can see, even three months pass one day.
I gotta a lot to do until tomorrow...but first lunch!
Samstag, 21. August 2010
trickster
"yeah, whatever". that's everything I can say to this.
how annyoing such smartasses are. arrogant wiseacres, not listening to other pple but themselves, pretending to know-it-all, never being wrong, never having to say sorry. alway getting what they want - what annoys me the most.
helping poor, stupid, clueless pipsqueaks by correct every single blooper...
Oh how much they have seen and achieved in their awesome lives, how much they will see and do in the very soon future....respecting other people's feelings? huh? why that?!
how GREAT the upper classes must feel. I'm sorry for being a little loser, I'm sorry for wasting your time with my unblessed being...
arrogant, bragging suckers, that's exactly what you are. I must have a very weak personality if I'm really hanging out with you.
get yourself somebody to fuck you properly before you piss me of again.
how annyoing such smartasses are. arrogant wiseacres, not listening to other pple but themselves, pretending to know-it-all, never being wrong, never having to say sorry. alway getting what they want - what annoys me the most.
helping poor, stupid, clueless pipsqueaks by correct every single blooper...
Oh how much they have seen and achieved in their awesome lives, how much they will see and do in the very soon future....respecting other people's feelings? huh? why that?!
how GREAT the upper classes must feel. I'm sorry for being a little loser, I'm sorry for wasting your time with my unblessed being...
arrogant, bragging suckers, that's exactly what you are. I must have a very weak personality if I'm really hanging out with you.
get yourself somebody to fuck you properly before you piss me of again.
Mittwoch, 18. August 2010
wedding
I love this blues dress.
Yeah, maybe I should've taken my underwear off ~
I wanted such a dress for dancing...but in my town you won't find such stuff which really annoys me....
Anygay, this is my suit for my cousin's wedding in September. I always wanted to have such kind of clothing yayyyy~
Annette's way to hide here cigarettes from her mother when she leaves the house - just put them in a Thomas Sabo box!
endless rain...fall on my heart...kokoro no kizuni...
let me forget....all of the hate, all of the sadness....
oh my dear hide.
I just shocked myself.
instead of an R for "dear" I just accidentally typed a D.
Fuck myself...
The last live is wonderful.
shopping2
Würzburg is a bloody ugly city, but it's got so many wonderful stores with beautiful dresses and gorgeous shoes....we spent about 500€ as far as I know lol
my slack suit was the least expensive....just about uh 100€ I don't really know...
Despite being ugly, Würzburg offers a huge amount of stylish people and sexy girls, chrm.
But damn, I could cry for those boots. Somebody give me 300€, please.
Dienstag, 17. August 2010
Montag, 16. August 2010
wake
Today I woke up with a roundly positive feeling.
The letter was a succes....the phonecall was success...
Oh, but I almost missed driving school this morning. Good thing my teacher called me right away.
Did a good job, I guess. I practised reverse parking for the first time, and it's not even that hard.
haru, netsu, aki to fuyu....
The letter was a succes....the phonecall was success...
Oh, but I almost missed driving school this morning. Good thing my teacher called me right away.
Did a good job, I guess. I practised reverse parking for the first time, and it's not even that hard.
haru, netsu, aki to fuyu....
Sonntag, 15. August 2010
haru, netsu, aki to fuyu......
believe it or not, Annette spent a few hours with me. She needed advice for an issue that didn't really surprise me to be honest....boys.
God. There's no one like her.
I hope I could help a bit.
I got the monopoly, fuckers!!
God. There's no one like her.
I hope I could help a bit.
I got the monopoly, fuckers!!
got it
Level 53 today! Guess I won't make it up to 80 in three weeks.
I kinda like Sido's rap sometimes. In my opinion he speaks the truth...sometimes.
Just watched a bit of the cartoon The Brave Little Toaster. It's utterly cute...especially the blanket and the toaster. They're gay.
Now I remember what I wanted to write earlier...today I watched Jessica Simpson's The Price of Beauty. It's actually wuite intersting. She went to japan to experience the different kinds of beauty, like Geishas or Harajuku styles. In the end they organized a fashion show where everybody could walk over the runway in his favourite style.
A man joined the spectacle and wore a gorgeous black coat with an extraordinary fur collar and black and shiny leather boots almost up to his knees with many silver buckles and about 7cm heels.
It may sound slutty but it did in no way, he looked absolutely perfect , it just fit him. Then Jessica said sth like "In Japan I understood that everybody has his own style and needs to find it, without caring what other people might say". I thought about that statement for a while and suddenly I got it.
That boots had been women's shoes.
It was like "Oh right, men don't wear heels". I had totally forgotten about that social stereotype. But it made me quite happy actually.
I'm so much into genderless fashion that I sometimes don't realize if men wear make up or skirts or heels...
I'm a good person. d^^b
I kinda like Sido's rap sometimes. In my opinion he speaks the truth...sometimes.
Just watched a bit of the cartoon The Brave Little Toaster. It's utterly cute...especially the blanket and the toaster. They're gay.
Now I remember what I wanted to write earlier...today I watched Jessica Simpson's The Price of Beauty. It's actually wuite intersting. She went to japan to experience the different kinds of beauty, like Geishas or Harajuku styles. In the end they organized a fashion show where everybody could walk over the runway in his favourite style.
A man joined the spectacle and wore a gorgeous black coat with an extraordinary fur collar and black and shiny leather boots almost up to his knees with many silver buckles and about 7cm heels.
It may sound slutty but it did in no way, he looked absolutely perfect , it just fit him. Then Jessica said sth like "In Japan I understood that everybody has his own style and needs to find it, without caring what other people might say". I thought about that statement for a while and suddenly I got it.
That boots had been women's shoes.
It was like "Oh right, men don't wear heels". I had totally forgotten about that social stereotype. But it made me quite happy actually.
I'm so much into genderless fashion that I sometimes don't realize if men wear make up or skirts or heels...
I'm a good person. d^^b
to screw or not screw
I guess I'm doing fine again.
Wanted to write something speacial...but I forgot what it was.
SwAT had been nice.
It's raining, so I'll have a day of gambling!
Wanted to write something speacial...but I forgot what it was.
SwAT had been nice.
It's raining, so I'll have a day of gambling!
Samstag, 14. August 2010
sign
I'm recovering slowly....but still without medicine!
Okay, maybe that doesn't count since I devoured half a package of neo-angin....
Okay, maybe that doesn't count since I devoured half a package of neo-angin....
Freitag, 13. August 2010
struck down
a heavy cold and a tonsillitis, a blocked nose, headaches, a sore throat, dizziness.
I feel drunk.
Any questions?
Perfect.
I feel drunk.
Any questions?
Perfect.
Donnerstag, 12. August 2010
just say tha word
tadashi
I guess I won't do a cosplay of him....Aiji has his shoes, Rebbi has his pants, I have his hair and glasses.....
That's annoying.
That's annoying.
Mittwoch, 11. August 2010
dont fuck with us
Is this man kidding me?
does he think it's funny or what?
Ruki—The 4 of us haven’t changed, you know.
...
Ruki—We haven’t changed, but we feel sort of tired (laughs). Even if the members get together, we don’t make as much noise as we used to in the past (laughs).
...
Ruki—No, I’m not noisy, but I feel we no longer fool around as much as we used to do in the past.
Aoi—Ah, that explosiveness has gone, right? (laughs)
Ruki—Even the memory has gone (laughs).
...
Ruki-If we start talking about band stuff the build-up just slows down (laughs). For example, if we get talking about soccer or games, we go “Oh~yeah!”, but if it gets to “What about the songs?”, we’re all, “Hm~”.
what the fuck.
Reita-In the past, Kai was the one who used to give us the laughs, you know. Sending weird picture-mails, and stuff (laughs). But these days, not that much.
Kai—I almost wonder whether or not it happened even once in the entire year, me making everybody laugh.
Ruki—You probably did try to make us laugh, but ended up irritating us instead (laughs).
Why are they still laughing? there's nothing funny about this conversation.
Let's see what dear Aoi thinks about his friendship with the other gazemembers:
Aoi—Well, we don’t talk about the finer details, you know. Just to the extent of answering if asked.
Good to hear.
--------For example, if there’s someone in really low spirits, or is clearly not feeling well, what sort of a band is the GazettE in response to such a situation?
Ruki—Hm. We just get left behind, isn’t it? (laughs)
The next thing really freaks me out. They repeat everything the fans say about Kai and still laugh liek it was a joke.
Starting with Kai?
Reita—(Kai is) tired, isn’t it?
--------Is that grief floating about?
Ruki—It’s not grief, you know. It’s despair (laughs). Like falling down to the depths.
Kai—Well, I, sort of, don’t talk much these days, do I?
Ruki—Not being there even for the recording, etc.
Uruha—He’s not well.
Kai—No, I’m fine.
Uruha—And, his lips are gradually turning purple (laughs).
Aoi—Even though he says he isn’t unwell.
Reita—His eyes look dead (laughs).
Yes damnit, he looks dead.
Next, they talk about Reita for a while. In a very derogatory way, if you ask me.
Then they state they cant talk about Ruki's changes coz he either hasnt changed or his changes are too private.
But then comes this:
Uruha—Talking of things that have changed, he’s no longer as amiable as he used to be, you know.
Next is Aoi:
Reita—He stopped giving us cigarettes on birthdays (laughs).
Uruha—He stopped sending mails on birthdays (laughs).
...
Aoi—I guess I just got tired.
I'll stop here. The interview still continues for a while, but I guess I made my point.
Yeah...Nothing new, nothing we didnt expect or already know. Uruha was the only one being at least a bit of the Uruha I used to know.
And I feel wonderful right now....what I read would have hurt me as hell three months ago, but not now. Frankly, I dont give a fuck on this. And it feels wonderful.
does he think it's funny or what?
Ruki—The 4 of us haven’t changed, you know.
...
Ruki—We haven’t changed, but we feel sort of tired (laughs). Even if the members get together, we don’t make as much noise as we used to in the past (laughs).
...
Ruki—No, I’m not noisy, but I feel we no longer fool around as much as we used to do in the past.
Aoi—Ah, that explosiveness has gone, right? (laughs)
Ruki—Even the memory has gone (laughs).
...
Ruki-If we start talking about band stuff the build-up just slows down (laughs). For example, if we get talking about soccer or games, we go “Oh~yeah!”, but if it gets to “What about the songs?”, we’re all, “Hm~”.
what the fuck.
Reita-In the past, Kai was the one who used to give us the laughs, you know. Sending weird picture-mails, and stuff (laughs). But these days, not that much.
Kai—I almost wonder whether or not it happened even once in the entire year, me making everybody laugh.
Ruki—You probably did try to make us laugh, but ended up irritating us instead (laughs).
Why are they still laughing? there's nothing funny about this conversation.
Let's see what dear Aoi thinks about his friendship with the other gazemembers:
Aoi—Well, we don’t talk about the finer details, you know. Just to the extent of answering if asked.
Good to hear.
--------For example, if there’s someone in really low spirits, or is clearly not feeling well, what sort of a band is the GazettE in response to such a situation?
Ruki—Hm. We just get left behind, isn’t it? (laughs)
The next thing really freaks me out. They repeat everything the fans say about Kai and still laugh liek it was a joke.
Starting with Kai?
Reita—(Kai is) tired, isn’t it?
--------Is that grief floating about?
Ruki—It’s not grief, you know. It’s despair (laughs). Like falling down to the depths.
Kai—Well, I, sort of, don’t talk much these days, do I?
Ruki—Not being there even for the recording, etc.
Uruha—He’s not well.
Kai—No, I’m fine.
Uruha—And, his lips are gradually turning purple (laughs).
Aoi—Even though he says he isn’t unwell.
Reita—His eyes look dead (laughs).
Yes damnit, he looks dead.
Next, they talk about Reita for a while. In a very derogatory way, if you ask me.
Then they state they cant talk about Ruki's changes coz he either hasnt changed or his changes are too private.
But then comes this:
Uruha—Talking of things that have changed, he’s no longer as amiable as he used to be, you know.
Next is Aoi:
Reita—He stopped giving us cigarettes on birthdays (laughs).
Uruha—He stopped sending mails on birthdays (laughs).
...
Aoi—I guess I just got tired.
I'll stop here. The interview still continues for a while, but I guess I made my point.
Yeah...Nothing new, nothing we didnt expect or already know. Uruha was the only one being at least a bit of the Uruha I used to know.
And I feel wonderful right now....what I read would have hurt me as hell three months ago, but not now. Frankly, I dont give a fuck on this. And it feels wonderful.
Dienstag, 10. August 2010
august 7 ALBAN PARK
Besides from the entrance fee of 5€ it was okay.
The wine was good, a bit too good for me, but anyways...
It's over and I feel like human again.
(Thank God.)
But huskie, that really wasnt necessary.
Anyways. Unknown drunk guy, thanks for your company and the loosey!
Of course I met my exboyfriend Micha ( and his new girlfriend. She's very very sweet, sadly they had to go early...). He's as stupid and funny as always. And he's always there when I need someone for a serious conversation. An evening with him can't ever be boring.
But he's THIN, he really is.
The next pics were made during SORROW GATE - they were amazing. Thanks to their ages I felt like being on a ACDC gig, but anyways......as you can see I was too drunk to hold the camera properly.
Since I was headbanging right next to their guitarist, my ears were totally destroyed afterwards.....my neck still hasnt recovered.
Gotta stop here! Had no breakfast, so I'm very hungry right now!
ENNELL
someday
Just my recent stuff....
My new hairstyling product and the AMAZING hairstyles you can create with it.
Oh, and my beautiful new scarf.
Reminds me of DEAD TREE or THE MARROW OF A BONE.
I love it.
My new hairstyling product and the AMAZING hairstyles you can create with it.
Oh, and my beautiful new scarf.
Reminds me of DEAD TREE or THE MARROW OF A BONE.
I love it.
august 5
I totally forgot about my date with Aiji!
I was enjoying lunch, still in my sleeping clothes, and suddenly she stood in front of my door....
I enjoyed seeing her in pain, hehe~
Industrial!!
I promised her to get my tongue pierced together with her next year.
I just notcied every line starts with an I....
Interesting.
INNELL
august 3
I stayed at Nina's for an evening of wok-cooking and fun...
we slept in the upper apartment. it looked like it had been built in the 70's by a bunch of young people who wanted a place to party......that communism sign was funny, hanging around in such an old flat. really oldschool.
Rena gave me a gift. A crisp looking like a fish.
We were too tired to play such a complicated game.... 3am!!
Laura hit the board twice and destroyed everything.
we slept in the upper apartment. it looked like it had been built in the 70's by a bunch of young people who wanted a place to party......that communism sign was funny, hanging around in such an old flat. really oldschool.
Rena gave me a gift. A crisp looking like a fish.
We were too tired to play such a complicated game.... 3am!!
Laura hit the board twice and destroyed everything.
dental
date with my dentist again!
Suddenly a girl stepped in and smiled at me. I had the strange feeling of knowing her from school....
I didnt get who she was until she came back and asked "So how's driving school going?"
Jana! It's you!
I'm extremely tired.....my darling didnt let me hear anything from her. I guess I have to call her today and show her who wears the pants here!!~
I still didnt uload the latest pics...shall I?
Suddenly a girl stepped in and smiled at me. I had the strange feeling of knowing her from school....
I didnt get who she was until she came back and asked "So how's driving school going?"
Jana! It's you!
I'm extremely tired.....my darling didnt let me hear anything from her. I guess I have to call her today and show her who wears the pants here!!~
I still didnt uload the latest pics...shall I?
Montag, 9. August 2010
order&driving
so Domi helped me getting things in order. He's too sweet for this world...
He picked me up at home, drove back to his house, put my bike in his trunk, drove it back home and then helped me getting my Darling's birthday present.
And brought me home again!
I tried to get my headset from Nina, but she wasn't at home...so I put a note in her letterbox. Hoepfully she'll find it.
Now I'm enjoying my spaghetti icecream.
ROCKOOOON!
ENNELL
He picked me up at home, drove back to his house, put my bike in his trunk, drove it back home and then helped me getting my Darling's birthday present.
And brought me home again!
I tried to get my headset from Nina, but she wasn't at home...so I put a note in her letterbox. Hoepfully she'll find it.
Now I'm enjoying my spaghetti icecream.
ROCKOOOON!
ENNELL
Sonntag, 8. August 2010
kioku
my memory of last night just came back.
thanks to all the sweet people who stayed at my side and whose help I didnt deserve.
you surely had a hard time beacuse of me....
but I never wanna be this drunk again. loosing my self control was horrible.
I better not try to remember more.
thanks to all the sweet people who stayed at my side and whose help I didnt deserve.
you surely had a hard time beacuse of me....
but I never wanna be this drunk again. loosing my self control was horrible.
I better not try to remember more.
jäägermeister
I feel like shit....everything hurts, I'm dizzy, my head hurts....I dont wanna throw up again....
Samstag, 7. August 2010
knocked over
like a punch in the face.
wtf? he's in love with me?
oh why T__T
I'm quite helpless now.
Baby! Answer your phone!!!
wtf? he's in love with me?
oh why T__T
I'm quite helpless now.
Baby! Answer your phone!!!
regret
I forgot about the alban park festival today and now I coudlnt make it anymore....Damn it!!!
The whole L8 crew is rocking their ass off...fuck. why didn't I hurry a bit when I had the chance?
The whole L8 crew is rocking their ass off...fuck. why didn't I hurry a bit when I had the chance?
Mittwoch, 4. August 2010
I miss the times when I didn't care about superficial things like....
Everday.
Can I learn how to be liveless again?
A prayer, a wish, up to the sky...
Moon, light up the darkness.
I can't even see the stardust.
Sleepless.
I sleep....the dream won't stop.
I'd like to believe it for now.
So live, cherish this wound, until the ray of live runs out of time and fades away.
These words burned into my flesh would be release.
One day I'll run as far away from all this as possible, until my feet won't take my body a single step further. I won't return, I give a fuck about all this.
What's done to me is ridiculous, and I'd crack up if it wasn't my own live being this ridiculous.
I wanna sleep.
Everday.
Can I learn how to be liveless again?
A prayer, a wish, up to the sky...
Moon, light up the darkness.
I can't even see the stardust.
Sleepless.
I sleep....the dream won't stop.
I'd like to believe it for now.
So live, cherish this wound, until the ray of live runs out of time and fades away.
These words burned into my flesh would be release.
One day I'll run as far away from all this as possible, until my feet won't take my body a single step further. I won't return, I give a fuck about all this.
What's done to me is ridiculous, and I'd crack up if it wasn't my own live being this ridiculous.
I wanna sleep.
cleaning
things turned out differently alst night. I couldnt go home coz nobody joined me, so i slept on a matress in all my clothes, with makeup and hair done....from 3am to 9am....again just six hours!
I had to get up early coz of an appointedment with my dentist.
Whoo, in ten minutes I'll be allowed to eat again!!
Max is a perverted bitch. His boyfriend is 25 and lives in NRW! We made jokes about how funny it would be to pick up my girlfriend and his boyfriend if they were travelling on the same train one day. The people around us would see a girl and a guy waiting, a girl and a guy leaving the train, walking straight to the other two members....and kissing the same gender as couples do. Then we'd walk off hands in hands and laugh our asses off.
That's my wish. I really wanna do that...their faces would be priceless!
ENNELL
I had to get up early coz of an appointedment with my dentist.
Whoo, in ten minutes I'll be allowed to eat again!!
Max is a perverted bitch. His boyfriend is 25 and lives in NRW! We made jokes about how funny it would be to pick up my girlfriend and his boyfriend if they were travelling on the same train one day. The people around us would see a girl and a guy waiting, a girl and a guy leaving the train, walking straight to the other two members....and kissing the same gender as couples do. Then we'd walk off hands in hands and laugh our asses off.
That's my wish. I really wanna do that...their faces would be priceless!
ENNELL
Montag, 2. August 2010
creeper
I just had the fucking creepiest experience ever....
Whil I was talking to Nina on the phone, I looked sth up in my calendar. When I had found it, I closed my notes and out of nothing I had the strong feeling of a hand grabbing my elbow...I hontestly felt it!!
Maybe I'm going insane....
ENNELL
Whil I was talking to Nina on the phone, I looked sth up in my calendar. When I had found it, I closed my notes and out of nothing I had the strong feeling of a hand grabbing my elbow...I hontestly felt it!!
Maybe I'm going insane....
ENNELL
Sonntag, 1. August 2010
Happy late birthday, Mr. EROS!!
Since my entry got deleted yesterday while I was still writing....
Happy birthday and so on, I'm too tired for enthusiasm, sorry...
Tell your mom thanks for giving birth to you, say thanks to your daddy...and the truck driver for not completely killing you...thanks to Karyu and Dieur Mind's drummer...thanks to the newspaper man for printing Hizumi's ad....
God made something right finally.
I wish you the best for your future, that's what you deserve. We love you, Monsterman.
I drank like a fish for you at the L8.
ENNELL
Happy birthday and so on, I'm too tired for enthusiasm, sorry...
Tell your mom thanks for giving birth to you, say thanks to your daddy...and the truck driver for not completely killing you...thanks to Karyu and Dieur Mind's drummer...thanks to the newspaper man for printing Hizumi's ad....
God made something right finally.
I wish you the best for your future, that's what you deserve. We love you, Monsterman.
I drank like a fish for you at the L8.
ENNELL
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