maniste

I'm hungry ._.
I found some Despa ManiSte translations yesterday, and all I can say is "30 minutes of VULGARITY" xD
gotta buy the ticket today and pack my bags and then I'm on the road again!!

gotta work

I cried two times today.
If I dont stop listening to Monokuro, it'll kill me. Its not the first song ever that hurts me whenever I listen to it and makes cry just when I think of it, but its the first of this kind that I havent read the lyrics of.

the melody and Hari's voice....kimi to omoide, wasurenei kono mune ni kisamareteru.....I won't forget........you and your memories?
kimi no......mukumori.....wasurenei kono mude no kowoteru....
kimi to omoide......

ah...gotta work, but I'll have a cigarette first....

Hari, stop! Common you make me cry.....uh......

I need money....

my brother told me I will not get a job when i go to university. I'm so scared of the future. I know I have to be realistic...but I'm so scared that I cannot stay together with my beloved. I need her...I will do whatever it takes if we just can live together....

Closer to ideal- brand new scene will cost 105 euros. this is what I earn in almost 3 months.
D'espairsRay hurt me so much these days...I love them too much, and I'm breaking down coz i'm so far away and probably will never see them again...I haven't even met them!
I cant pay the clothes I wanna wear...I cant pay my fave bands, my music, my dreams, my school, my education.
Honestly, I'd really do anything for money. but I dunno where to go....I cannot wait out there on the street until a car stops!
I have to earn more money. whoever said you cannot be happy with money was wrong, you can be happy with or without money, but life's ten times easier if you have money.
gosh, If I just had 100 euros more very month I'd be the happiest person ever.

gotta stop whining. at least I'm healthy. I need a hot shower and a cig and chocolate....

the mornin after

Hey everyone! I'll start rigth away with teh hottest news ever:
on Dec 29th, there'll be the release of D'espairsRay first's best-of album called IMMORTAL!! Motherfuckin HOORAY!!!
Here's the link to the announcement video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ygqKFHd_E0
It's gonna be released in Japan and Europe
There'll also be a new Live DVD called Closer to ideal - Brand new scene- from the 10th anniversary live in Shibuya C.C. lemon hall.
Another link to an nice interview I found:
http://notafanboy.livejournal.com/108896.html
Enjoy!

I'm so excited about all this, i need a drink now....

no tíme

I'm in a hurry so i'll make it short:
it's christmas, yay! and my mum's present isn't done, unyay!!
*jumps under the shower*

10

only 10 more days left. Time is running, and I'm kinda not prepared....
to do:
- work
- eat
- search for chains and collars
- get a teddy bear or penguin
- shopping with my brother
- work
- eat
- call baby
- sleep

5 days to christmas! i still need all the presents!! gosh every year I'm thinking I've got enough time but no....

on tour

today we had a little secret live, and the manager told us we'll be doing another live next week's wednesday. this will be last for the year, and its gonna be big.
better go to rehearsel now.....

11 days left.

mornin

I got up earlier so i have time for my blog. todays the 7th anniversary of my baby and me! everybody HOORAY!!
today's also the big sports challenge. I'm not in the team, so its gonny be a boring day...we'll loose anyway.

done

oh boy the concert was awesome. I really enjoyed singing up there and gave my áll my best.it wasnt as hard as I had thought before, and almost everything went well.
almost.....I was so concentrated that i started singing way earlier than i had to! embarrassing....

oops

forgot something:
my glasses are done and I cut my hair once again!

on the road

just finished work, now i'll have to change and call my baby.
Only half an hour until I'll meet the others at the venue. I gotta be quick...

rockin till my throat is sore :D

I just finished the rehearsel for tonight. it works quite good, but some songs are so exhausting that i put all my strength in them and then my voice breaks during the other songs.
I dont know what shoes to wear....

gotta be relaxing a bit now and then go back to work.
seeya!

akuro no oka

beautiful live song by Dir en Grey.

people are trying to pull me down, to kill, me exhausting me, supressing me with words, acts, happenings, thoughts.
And I cant fight back.
I always thought it would be enough to be self-confident.

But all my self-confident is not worth anything because no one notices it.

You need self-confident and authority to survive. Second is what I dont have. And I dont know how to gain it.

I feel worthless because of that.

What can you do against people calling you a racist and a fascist and a whore and a liar?
Nothing. They'll never believe you.
This is how they steal your authority. And if they also get my self-confidence, I'm done.

It hurts being so breakable.

suzie wong

long time no see.
I went to a very popular local club last night, with the intention not to drink anything.
In the end I was kicked outta the club, lay on the street for I-dunno-how-long and was found by the police. I had 1.4 promille.
they informed my parents and I was picked up, but to taht moment I was sick again and again.
I slept in my clothes and my father made me walk to the club again in the morning to pick my bike up which i had left there. I took me almost an hour.
gotta work now....
I forgot the meeting that was planned for this morning and I hope I will keep the soup I just ate.
Never again.....it's still horrible.