need

God damn it!
I want and need wine!
Honestly....a nice white dry one. And a cigarette at the open balcony door. And my Darling's arm around my waist.
Aaah...that'd be just too perfect.

bored

NeoSteam is fun~ but it also has a lot of mistakes in it...it just made my computer breakdown.

One minute until Darling calls. I got work to do and I'm very hungry. but my guitar is here for me~

grr

this fucking guitar is annoying as hell. but if I stop now, I will never finish anything I start in my life.

zzZzzZz.

need to sleep. right now. uh.

we reached the next level, my love :]
let's warm up our weappons and run for the bright new future, collecting orbs and going shopping....for that the next naked vampire lady will lay beneath us screaming for more....hehe.

shitto

this fucking jealousy is killing, it really hurts me physically.

bastards. I'm gonna kill them all.

100th post

ah well, mistakes always get out, even for poor Ruki....
you know that hand movements japanese fans do at concerts? I know who taught them but I wont say for I dont wanna be the one to embarras Ruki.....

....effin watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QLyN4BfdszU&feature=rec-fresh+div-f-3-HM

Recently Ruki said he'll never dance again...what a pity.

are you suffering?

yeah Emilie, go for it.

I dont know how many times I have to repeat it until she believes it as much as I do.
I'd do anything to make her happy. No matter if its about those two physical issues or melancholy and philosophy.
Seeing her struggle and fight day after day with her being and the world and live and other things nobody can change hurts me.
But it also makes me feel needed. Coz when I'm with her, I hope and I know that she can forget a bit of everything that's hurting her. And that's just what I'm here for and what I wanna do.
Nothing else.
I belong to her so I wanna be with her.
And I will be.
I dont wanna see myself on anybody's side or in anybody's live but hers.
I live for her and for making her happy.
I try hard to make her feel loved.

I'll go to bed now. And I'll wake up tomorrow knowing that I live for her phone call in the evening. That's okay with me. If I can live for someone like her, it's way more than many other people could ever live for.

gn8

I finally finished choosing the pics from our last shooting and uploading them. It took me quite a while.
I havent been smoking for the last 54 and a half hours. I just HAD to have a cigarette so I broke this record earlier.
I'll go to bed now and call my beloved. I dont wanna make her wait~

music: guren~

support needed

1. wanna play WoW again
2. need a ps3
3. sims3 is fucked up
4. I hate humans
5. I miss my beloved

I need her at my side, otherwise I feel too lonely.
Babe, you said something about marriage. When the right time comes, I'll marry you, hehe.

update

I really do like the new layout, huh.
Got a book full of love poems, it's very, very beautiful and deeply moving. I love it a lot and like to think about the deeper meanings.

I'm hungry due I didnt eat today coz of work.

listening to arisu~<3
I'm sleepwalker, ne.

computerfreak

dont wanna go dancing today....I gotta work in the evening so there'll be no time for some fun...nooooo!!.......actually dancing is supposed to be fun but well it isnt....

healthy day

it seems like I'm on the way managing my everyday-life. I kinda changed a few things...at least I myself think that.

I have a strong feeling that things are gonna work out. I'm excited....theoreticalyl, I have enough mouny to travel to Japan around 6 or 7 times.....but I guess I will get my license instead, go to university and create a new future.
I got great respect for my parents when I see what they have reached.
One day there will be a sign upon my front door saying "Welcome to Nameless Liberty".

there and back again

so I returned and arrived here yesterday night. I won't say I'm home again, coz right it doesnt feel like my home.
fo one week, my home and my everyday-life was my beloved, and now returning to a everyday-life without her is pretty hard.
this morning I woke up, eyes still closed and half asleep, knowing that I will be alone in a different room when i open my eyes. as I did, it didnt come unexspected so it wasnt that hard.
at least there's snow here.