are you suffering?

yeah Emilie, go for it.

I dont know how many times I have to repeat it until she believes it as much as I do.
I'd do anything to make her happy. No matter if its about those two physical issues or melancholy and philosophy.
Seeing her struggle and fight day after day with her being and the world and live and other things nobody can change hurts me.
But it also makes me feel needed. Coz when I'm with her, I hope and I know that she can forget a bit of everything that's hurting her. And that's just what I'm here for and what I wanna do.
Nothing else.
I belong to her so I wanna be with her.
And I will be.
I dont wanna see myself on anybody's side or in anybody's live but hers.
I live for her and for making her happy.
I try hard to make her feel loved.

I'll go to bed now. And I'll wake up tomorrow knowing that I live for her phone call in the evening. That's okay with me. If I can live for someone like her, it's way more than many other people could ever live for.