I can't!
I'd like to apologize for the trouble and worries I have caused last week. The people this apology goes to don't need to be named since I guess they know they're meant.
Today, I have only two things in mind.
Both are unbelievably far away from, almost unreachable for me.
My Darling, you will be as close as possible to me this summer. Knwowing that somewhere in the furture and in present a Somebody is waiting for me and caring about me, gives me strenght. I have a little bit of you everyday and some rare times even more. I'll wait for the day I can truely be yours again.
And the second person I love with everything my heart has to give, who doesn't even know of my existence, who doesn't even care about my existence, is even further afar, living in complete different universe, unreachable for 364 days a year.
On Sep 24th I will be close to him for a few moments, watching and loving him in silence and unseen, and it will be everything I will ever achieve, and I am truely thankful for this chance.
In my everyday life I am torn between the slightly touchable and the absolutely unreachable Somebody, I have them both and mostly only one and when I go to sleep, none.
How much I wished my days to be different, at least for some light and valuable moments.
ENNELL
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